The real bitch of it was I only watched 20 minutes of one Horror movie anthology. Its a German made silent film called "Destiny". It was released in the US in 1921 under a different name and it is one of the first Horror Anthology films ever made. It had a profound and lasting effect on Alfred Hitchcock's opinion of the genre and so on and so forth. But, whether it was the lack of stimulation in my surroundings, a lack of caffeine or perhaps just genuine boredom I couldn't keep my attention on it and I fell asleep. That one act of bodily defiance sums up my entire trip. I had the best intentions but my mind and body were so resistant to my will that they just went and ate an 8 pack of Nathan's hot dogs and watched the first season of Maron instead of Google searching Destiny and Fritz Lang.
After watching a lot of Marc Maron over last week, I find myself relating to one of his bits more than the others. Marc goes on about his post adolescent mission to rediscover and finally understand Captain Beefheart. While Marc was carrying one of Beefheart's records, a random dude says to him in passing, "Trying to catch up huh?" and Marc finds himself thinking, "That's all I'm doing." He hears what probably was a reference to a record in his hand and realizes that his whole life he might have been a few steps behind. In just music appreciation? In romantic relationships? In "Life achievements"? Who knows how he took it?
I know how I'd take it. While I've always been appreciative of horror movies and the genre in general, I have fell behind. And I am struggling to catch up. It's more than a matter of finding the time, because it's also a matter of finding the motivation. When you geek out in your teens, you dive right in. In my teens, my geek drive was deep in music and poetry. My body of work from those times speaks to that. I haved saved countless pages of poetry that really suck. I have countless riffs and song ideas that will never come to fruition that I created in my teens. And my ability as a song writer and poet are pretty solid now due to years of practice, failure and study. Want to test me? Here's a haiku to sum up my week in PA...
Your glow cradles me
Television lullaby
Where can I find rest?
Yeah, so I can write poetry, and I can write a solid song structure and lyrical concept. But what I really want to learn and study now is the horror genre. I want to be the nerd that I am in my head and heart, but with being almost 30, I find it harder to actually give a shit. I find it harder TO CARE about which Italian director was the most influential and inspirational of the 70s, or TO CARE about why Tom Savini is the special effects king of the 70s and 80s, or TO CARE about all the horror coming out in the next 5 years.
Im struggling to catch up! The movies and franchises I followed when I was young...ReAnimator, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, and a handful of American classics have all aged like fine wines in my head, but its getting harder to develop that level of appreciation for other films that are on the same level because I have not been introduced to them while I was young.
APPRECIATION IS SUBJECTIVE BITCHES!!!
Horror is like music in that you love the films you saw when you were young because you were young. Youth is an elixir that is wasted on the young. Its a fucking scam and while in that shifty hotel I realized that 16 year old Chris would of had a fucking field day with this trip. In deciding to take on this project, I've already opened up a can of worms I didn't expect. I've already confronted the fact that I'm old. 30 years old in June. And with age may come wisdom, but with age goes passion.
And that is the biggest joke of all.
April Fools Day Chris. Deal with it.
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